Remind yourself of that. That’s not what she wanted for you. Just use her as your reason to be strong.
I mean you’ll always be tempted to go back to old ways, its not something that’s easy. But as long as you keep reminding yourself why you shouldn’t do it. It will progressively get easier, although i’m not saying the urge will be completely gone, I’m just saying eventually you’ll overcome it.
It’s like every time I see a pretty girl I have an existential crisis